Great leadership isn’t about big actions and rousing speeches — it’s about the small things you do every day.
Communicate Effectively
1. Before every interaction, clarify its purpose.
You’ll have better, more-focused meetings and conversations if everyone understands why they’re happening. To figure that out and communicate it, use this phrase.
A simple phrase to make each of your interactions more effective
Video Transcript:
You’ve probably experienced the frustration of a leader who sets fuzzy goals or whose meetings wander. And you’re left wondering, where is all this going? What are we supposed to do with this?
Well, don’t let your team feel this way about you. Here’s one simple thing you can do to give your team the clarity they crave.
Before every project, every conversation, every meeting, clarify for yourself: The purpose of X is to Y. The purpose of this project is to streamline our tracking system. The purpose of this conversation is to seek feedback on my draft report.
There’s a lot of power in a phrase like this. Why? Well, because it forces you to get clear on why you’re doing the things you do. If you can’t articulate the purpose of a meeting, then why have it? And if you can’t relate the purpose of something to one of your team’s most important goals, then it’s a sign that you should revisit how you’re spending your own and everyone’s time.
Then share the purpose with others. It not only helps them know what to expect, but also helps them contribute more effectively. So imagine if you said, “The purpose of this meeting is to decide how to solve this client issue.” People would be so relieved. They’d know exactly what they needed to accomplish during this time — nothing more, nothing less.
And this doesn’t mean that you are domineering. You could also pass them the ball: “The goal of this conversation is for you to get the answers you need in order to move forward.”
And if you share your purpose with others and they have a different purpose in mind, that’s a good thing to surface. Then you can align on what really needs to happen.
Finally, this kind of phrase can also get the attention of higher ups. In many cases, the higher people rise in an organization, the shorter their attention span. This tells them right away what you’re after.
So try it for a week and see how it goes. Because when you get really good at clarifying your goals before interactions and sharing them when it makes sense to do so, you’ll start to act more intentionally and effectively, and others will notice.
2. When giving updates, focus on impact rather than tasks completed.
If your updates focus solely on your and your team’s completed to-do list, important stakeholders can easily tune out or lose sight of how your team contributes to the things your stakeholders care about. Here’s how to draw attention to your most important goals and the progress you and your team are making.
Why do it?
Your updates shouldn’t read like your team’s completed to-do list — unless you’re trying to bore people. The truth is your peers and higher-ups care more about what you’re working toward and your progress rather than the nitty-gritty of who did what and when. And highlighting the impact of your work shows that you understand how your team contributes to your company’s larger goals.
How to do it:
1. For each task you and your team have completed, ask yourself, What’s the impact of this work?
Impact can be a measurable business impact (e.g., meeting a sales target or increasing the efficiency of a process by X percent) or a less-tangible effect (e.g., boosting team morale or helping a direct report learn a new skill).
2. Consider the impacts your peers and higher-ups care most about.
Did you make any progress on a project or goal that the person you’re updating always asks about? If so, be sure to include in your update what you did and the difference it’s made.
If you have lots of work impacts to report, try to narrow down what to include based on which outcomes are most important to your audience.
3. Explain the impacts you and your team have made — and include a few tasks completed as evidence.
Including a few well-picked, relevant details in your update can help you frame your accomplishments. For example:
- Poor: “We completed 30 client interviews.”
- Better: “Our extensive client interviews have led us to insight X. As a result, we’re trying new approach Y.”
- Poor: “We designed new signs and rearranged the displays near the store entrance.”
- Better: “After we refreshed our signs and displays near the store entrance, we drew in 15 percent more foot traffic.”
- Poor: “We had a great client meeting with Acme on Monday.”
- Better: “Raksha did a great job leading Monday’s client meeting with Acme. In the past six months, she has built a lot of skill and confidence in client communication — and she even has them interested in buying.”
3. Paraphrase what people say to you to make sure you understand.
Helping other people feel understood is key to building trust. When you respond in your own words with what you think someone is saying, you demonstrate that you’re an engaged listener who truly wants to understand the person’s perspective.
Why do it?
Paraphrasing what you’ve just heard is a triple threat communication tool — not only does it help illuminate gaps in understanding, it demonstrates your engagement as a listener, and can help the other person refine their thoughts. It’s a great way to make sure everyone in a conversation walks away on the same page. The technique can be particularly helpful when speaking with people from different departments (marketing and engineering, for example) or cultural backgrounds as a way to make sure nothing gets lost in translation.
How to do it:
1. Listen with the intention of deep understanding.
You can’t paraphrase back if you weren’t listening carefully in the first place. Put away any distractions like phones and computer screens, and don’t half-listen while thinking about what you’ll say next. Instead, really focus on the meaning of what the other person is saying.
2. Home in on the most important information, then paraphrase it back to the speaker.
Try starting your recap with phrases like:
- “What I’m hearing you say is…”
- “If I understand this correctly, you need…”
- “It sounds like you’re saying that…”
3. When you paraphrase, put the idea in your own words.
Resist the urge to repeat verbatim what you just heard. While repeating shows you’ve got a great memory, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve understood and synthesized what’s been said. By explaining your understanding of the idea in your own words, you can both concentrate on making sure the concepts are the same, not just the words.
4. Ask for confirmation that your understanding is accurate and complete.
A simple “Do I have that right?” opens the door for the other person to clarify or correct anything you’re missing.
5. If there are still gaps in understanding, ask clarifying questions.
Dig down into the pieces that you don’t completely understand, and ask questions like:
- “Could you tell me more about…”
- “Are there any examples you could show me to help me understand?”
- “I’m still not clear on the timeline. Can you clarify the deadlines for me?”
4. Use “verbal signposts” to make your thoughts easier to follow.
Why do it?
Explaining what you’re going to say before you say it—a technique called “verbal signposting”—helps you come across as a clear thinker and ensure that others understand you as you intend. It can also stop you from rambling, a quick way to lose your credibility and your audience’s attention.
How to do it:
1. For planned speaking, like a presentation, write verbal signposts into your notes.
Once you’ve drafted your script or speaking notes, look for places that could benefit from a verbal signpost, such as when you:
- Introduce a series of points or ideas (e.g., “There are three reasons for this …”)
- Share something you want your audience to understand and remember (e.g., “The most important thing for you to know is …”)
- Want to indicate where you are in the overall presentation (e.g., “I have one more big idea to share, and then I’ll open the floor for questions” or “I’m going to tell you a brief story and then delve into why it’s relevant to our product launch”)
2. For spontaneous speaking, like in a meeting, start with a verbal signpost to indicate what and why you’re sharing.
Before you jump into the discussion, get clear on what you want to say and how much help you think your audience needs to easily understand your points.
In addition to the approaches in No. 1, you could flag:
- A question you want to ask (e.g., “I have a clarifying question for Marika”)
- An idea you support and why (e.g., “I think we should try Marika’s plan for three reasons …”)
- A concern you have and why (e.g., “That approach concerns me for two main reasons …”)
- Relevant information to share (e.g., “I recently learned something that I think would be helpful for this conversation …”)
- Ideas you want to introduce (e.g., “I have two solutions we could try …”)
Engage Your Team
5. Have a meaningful conversation with direct reports you view as disengaged.
If someone on your team seems disengaged, it might be tempting not to bother them. But as a manager, it’s your job to understand what motivates each direct report and what’s important to them. You’ll be more likely to give them the support they need to reach their potential when you take even 20 minutes to have a conversation to learn more about them.
An effective way to refresh your relationship with a disengaged direct report
Video Transcript:
Pamela Fuller:
Many managers don’t know what to do with direct reports they view as underperforming or disengaged. What they often fail to consider is the strong correlation between performance and a sense of belonging on the team. We all have some amount of discretionary effort that we choose to give to our work. And for people who feel undervalued, tolerated, ignored, left out, or disrespected they’re understandably less likely to give that extra discretionary effort.
When I hear from leaders that they’re disappointed in a person’s performance, I share a trick that helps them really refresh their relationship with that person. First, I ask them to think of someone they consider a high performer, and then to think of a typical conversation that they might have with this high performer, not a tasking, or feedback conversation, just the typical everyday connecting conversation.
I then asked them, how do you open the conversation? How long do those conversations last? What do you talk about? Then I ask these leaders to go have that conversation with the person they view as underperforming or disengaged, to open the same way. Use the same body language. Let the conversation draw out versus being efficient with that person. Now some managers roll their eyes. They think what’s an extra conversation going to do? But remember, we’re not talking just about making small talk.
When managers are describing the sort of conversations they have with their top performers, they never described it as a lot of small talk. They never dismiss it that way. They describe a conversation that goes beyond small talk, that helps them build a meaningful connection with their direct report. But then they consider conversations they’ve had with people they’ve identified as underperforming or disengaged, and they dread those conversations. They avoid them. And when they really reflect on it, they’ve realized that they don’t listen the same way in those conversations. They don’t contribute to the ongoing nature of those conversations in the same way.
After trying this, managers come back to me blown away. They say that they’ve never had such an open conversation with this person, that they learned five or six things about the person, often in as little as 20 minutes.
One leader came back to me with a profound story of how they only now realize their direct report was dealing with an uncertain immigration status and additional childcare. The person had never said anything, but why would they? Now this leader who had seen this person as unreliable was able to attribute their challenge to something else and work to support them rather than assume they weren’t capable of more.
6. Recognize your direct reports for taking calculated risks — even if they don’t succeed.
Your team won’t improve if they’re too scared to try new things. You can encourage innovation when you celebrate experiments, whether they work or not.
Why do it?
If you want your team to improve, they need to have the confidence to try new (and possibly better!) ways of doing things. Recognizing direct reports for taking smart risks — even ones that don’t pan out — celebrates their courage and pushes them to experiment in ways that can lead to innovation.
How to do it:
1. Choose a risk to recognize.
Sometimes a risk is a fresh approach you can’t miss: A member of your team creates and tests a new client presentation that repositions your brand or a salesperson reaches out to reestablish a relationship with a dissatisfied former client. Other times, you may have to look harder for it: Maybe a direct report tries to solve a customer’s problem without checking with you first.
If you have trouble identifying risks a team member has taken, that may be a sign that your team is playing it too safe — and missing out on opportunities to make positive changes.
2. No matter what the outcome, praise your direct report’s initiative and effort.
For example, “I want to thank you for trying out that new presentation on a client. It takes guts to question the status quo, but we’ll never get better if we don’t. That’s exactly the kind of innovative thinking I want to encourage on our team.”
3. Frame the experiment as a learning opportunity to build on.
By focusing on learning, you make it clear that the experiment was a valuable use of their time and you set the stage for the next new idea. Ask your direct report:
- “What worked?” Be sure to highlight any benefits to the organization that your direct report might not be aware of.
- “What didn’t work? Why?” Make it clear that even if the idea didn’t work as planned, there’s still something to learn from it. For example, “A couple of slides in the new presentation seemed to confuse the client. Can we identify if the information was confusing or what information is more important to them?”
- “Given what we’ve learned, what might we try next?” When discussing options, consider the potential risk and reward. If the potential for learning outweighs the impact of failing, great. If not, what change would make the idea worth trying, even if it failed?
4. If appropriate, share what you learned with your team.
Talking through with your team what was learned shows that you value new ideas, and it can help create a team culture where everyone feels safe speaking up and sharing their thoughts.
If you dedicate time in your recurring meetings to discussing what team members have learned, you establish that experimenting is part of the job: “Based on the client’s reactions to Malik’s new presentation, we’re going to tweak some of the infographics. We don’t want our client presenta
7. Let direct reports offer their viewpoints before you share yours.
In your position as a leader, your voice can drown out other voices. You’re more likely to tap into your team’s creativity and get their most honest thoughts when you wait to be the last to speak.
Why do it?
No matter how openly you welcome other viewpoints, the power dynamics of being a manager can nudge your direct reports’ ideas toward agreement with your own. By letting others speak first, they can voice their true thoughts without being influenced by yours. Also, going last allows you to perform a leader’s role as the curator of the conversation, synthesizing individual contributions and highlighting how they shape the final decision or outcome.
How to do it:
1. Shut up, and ask for others to offer their ideas.
If your team is accustomed to you immediately offering your ideas, they may need extra prompting — and patience. Ask each person for their views in whatever way works best for your team: round-the-table, calling on individuals, or in random order as people have thoughts. If the group is particularly reticent, try asking a question and silently counting to ten to give your direct reports a chance to prepare thoughtful responses. Most importantly, resist the urge to jump in with your own thoughts until you’ve heard from everyone.
2. After your direct reports share their ideas, recap what you’ve heard in a way that incorporates your views.
Start with a phrase like, “Here’s what I’m hearing,” and work to include at least one aspect of what each person has offered. This is your chance to sum up what everyone has said, package it in a way that highlights the most important information, and incorporate your own perspective.
3. If a decision needs to be made from the conversation, ensure that the process is crystal clear.
If you ask for input but have already made up your mind about a decision, you’re creating a false democracy that can feel manipulative. If the purpose of the discussion was to arrive at a decision, tell everyone up front what the decision-making process will look like, for example:
- One person (yourself or a project manager, for example) makes the call after everyone has a chance to offer input.
- The team votes and you go with the winner.
- The team holds discussions until consensus is reached.
8. Before you give feedback, ask the other person what they think about the situation.
You’ll have a more accurate understanding of what happened and be able to tailor what you say more effectively if you first ask open-ended questions that allow them to share their perspective.
Why do it?
How would your reinforcing praise for a direct report’s work change if you knew they actually hated the project? And how would you adjust your redirecting feedback for another direct report if you knew that they thought they were going to get some training that never materialized? You have the power to gain valuable insights like these. Simply ask what the other person thinks first — then craft feedback that’s better calibrated to land effectively.
How to do it:
1. Ask open-ended questions to learn how the other person sees the situation.
Whether you’re giving reinforcing or redirecting feedback, asking about both the positives and negatives gives you a more complete picture of the situation. For example:
- “Hi, Jamila, I’m curious about the project you finished last week. How do you think it went?”
- “What went better than you expected?”
- “What might you change for next time?”
- “What are you proud of?”
- “What are you disappointed about?”
2. Listen carefully and ask follow-up questions, as appropriate, until you fully understand the person’s point of view.
This is not the time to agree or disagree with what the other person is saying. Your job is to gain clarity on their perspective. For example:
- You: “What might you change for next time?”
- Direct report: “I would set a more realistic time frame for projects like this — maybe three weeks instead of two.”
- You: “Oh, why is that?”
- Direct report: “There was a lot of cross-team communication that had to happen — a lot more than I expected. That kind of work takes time, and I don’t think I can speed it up.”
- You: “That’s interesting — why not?”
- Direct report: “Well, this project was our top priority, but it wasn’t a high priority for Troy’s team. I had to be patiently persistent and understand that they had a lot of other important stuff on their plate.”
3. Use what you learn to calibrate your feedback to fit the situation.
Depending on what you just learned, you might need to change the feedback you intended to give. For example:
- Uncalibrated feedback: “Finishing this project a week later than scheduled has ripple effects for the whole team. Let’s talk through how you could focus on managing your time and priorities better so that this doesn’t happen again.”
- Calibrated feedback: “Thanks. Now I understand why it took the extra week. Next time, please keep me in the loop earlier with any timing challenges. Finishing a project late has ripple effects for the whole team, but if I know early that a deadline needs to shift, we can work to minimize any negative impacts.”
4. If appropriate, continue the conversation.
After delivering your feedback and thanking the person, listen carefully to the response and respond appropriately. If it makes sense, you might change expectations, offer support or coaching, and/or ask more follow-up questions.
9. Start your feedback with the phrase “I noticed that …” followed by “The impact is …”.
Your feedback will be clear, helpful, and more likely to spark a fruitful conversation when you use this template.
Why do it?
These two phrases provide a simple but powerful template for delivering feedback that’s specific, clear, and helpful. By starting with what you noticed, you’re framing the feedback as an observation that you’re open to discussing. And tying your observation directly to its impact can help the recipient better understand the consequences of their actions, which can increase the chances that your feedback gets heard and acted upon.
How to do it:
1. The next time you prepare feedback for someone, write down “I noticed that…” followed by the specific observation you are planning to share.
You can do this for both reinforcing and redirecting feedback. If you can’t pinpoint a specific observation with clear examples, it could be a sign that you aren’t ready to give feedback yet. Examples of what to write down:
- Reinforcing: I noticed two status emails from Donna where she provided more details about her project’s progress and roadblocks.
- Redirecting: I noticed that for the past month Craig’s online status is always set to “working.”
2. For each observation you write down, add “The impact is” followed by the impacts the action had on you, the team, and/or your organization.
Give this part careful thought so that it will be meaningful to the person. You don’t want the impact to be that it just pleased or annoyed you, for instance. And if the impact isn’t important for the person’s job or success, maybe you shouldn’t give the feedback at all. Examples of impacts:
- Reinforcing: The impact is that I always know where things stand with Donna’s projects, so I’m well equipped to make decisions based on that information.
- Redirecting: The impact is that people can’t tell when Craig is available to answer important questions. That lack of transparency can be a roadblock.
3. Pick an appropriate time to give the feedback.
Redirecting feedback should almost always be given privately. And while reinforcing feedback can sometimes be given publicly, even then it’s a good idea to follow up with the person in private to see if they have additional reactions. Beyond when, also consider whether you should ask permission to give your feedback—often a good idea.
4. After delivering your feedback using the phrases, listen carefully to the recipient’s response and react appropriately.
If you dole out feedback and consider the conversation over, you’re setting yourself up for feedback failure. Instead, listen to the other person’s view of the situation. Depending on what you hear, you might change your view or expectations, offer support, and/or ask follow-up questions.
10. Keep your 1-on-1s fresh by asking new questions.
Regularly scheduled 1-on-1s are one of the best ways to stay connected with your direct reports, to learn what they find challenging and exciting, and to help them develop. To make the most of 1-on-1s — and not fall into a rut — mix some new, thought-provoking questions into your conversation.
Ask a team member 3 new questions in this week’s 1-on-1
Why do it?
Having a routine for regular 1-on-1s with direct reports is great. But routines can easily lapse into ruts, especially when you’re overbusy with your own pile of work. Taking the time to prepare and asking a few new, thoughtful questions can ensure fresh, high-impact 1-on-1s that avoid common 1-on-1 pitfalls, like sidestepping tough topics or spending too much time on status updates.
How to do it:
1. Write down the 1-on-1 questions you’ve been asking, and analyze them for important areas you’re not covering.
For truly valuable 1-on-1s, ask a direct report about areas that are easy to overlook, like:
- Personal well-being
- Engagement at work
- Job and career goals
- View of their own performance
- View of you and your team
2. For an area you’ve been neglecting, write down three new questions to ask.
As much as possible, ask specific questions that require more than a yes-or-no explanation. Here are examples of questions to ask:
- “What’s your least favorite thing about work right now?”
- “What’s the biggest thing you’d like to change about our team?”
- “What would you change about your role if you could? What would you like to work on more? less?”
3. Email your questions to your direct report at least 24 hours before your 1-on-1.
In order to have a meaningful conversation, give your direct report time to gather their thoughts ahead of time. This is especially true if your questions include potentially difficult subjects, such as a topic you’ve both been avoiding or anything related to feedback.
4. Document your progress week to week.
If you don’t already take 1-on-1 meeting notes, start now! You can set aside a designated notebook for them or keep a binder of your 1-on-1 meeting notes and preparation worksheets (see link below). Doing so will help you track the progress of your week-to-week conversations and is an easy way to look up the questions you’ve asked—and identify the areas still left to cover.
11. Ask coaching questions to help direct reports solve their problems.
When a team member comes to you with an issue they’re struggling with, it can be tempting — and seemingly more efficient — to jump into problem-solving mode. But you’ll help them develop their own problem-solving skills if you instead turn your interaction into a coaching conversation.
When a direct report comes to you with a problem, start a coaching conversation
Why do it?
When a direct report comes to you with a problem, your first instinct might be to hand over a solution and get on with your day. While that may be faster in the moment, in the long run it does nothing to encourage the person to become a more independent problem solver. A good coaching conversation does. And it might also lead your direct report to come up with a better, more creative solution than the one you would have offered in the first place.
How to do it:
1. When your direct report arrives with a problem, start the coaching conversation by asking a solution-oriented question like, “What is your ideal outcome?”
Sometimes, dwelling on a problem can lead to tunnel vision. By starting with a solution-oriented question, you can begin to help your direct report shift their thinking away from “I’m stuck” and toward “What should I do to solve this?”
2. Ask follow-up questions to flesh out the context of the problem.
Talking through everything at play may reveal a solution your direct report missed before, when they were stuck in problem mode. You could ask questions like:
- What have you tried so far? Why?
- What other factors do you think have caused this to be a problem?
- Is there any important information that you feel like you’re missing?
- Have you faced any problems like this before?
3. Help your direct report establish a goal.
Given the context and scope of the problem, this may be a first step toward an ideal outcome, or the final outcome itself. Like all goals, make sure it’s SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). For example:
- By 5pm on Thursday, get all of the information I need from finance to write my final version of the report.
4. Help your direct report generate options for reaching the goal.
Again, focus on soliciting ideas from your direct report rather than suggesting them yourself. Try open-ended questions such as:
- What are some possible ways to reach this goal?
- What obstacles do you anticipate getting in your way?
- How might you get around those obstacles?
- What other people or resources could you tap to help you reach your goal?
5. Work with your direct report to plan a path forward.
Your direct report should leave the conversation with a step-by-step plan that they can put into action. The more specific that plan is, the better. Be sure to make it clear to your direct report that you’re available to help think through any new issues as they arise, or to revisit the problem altogether if the plan doesn’t work.
12. Give your team “fix what bugs you” projects.
When a direct report complains about something — an imperfect process, a boring task — that’s a sign that they care about it. You can tap into that inherent motivation if you give them the time and resources to fix what bugs them.
Why do it?
Your direct report says, “This approval process takes forever!” or “That team is always slow getting back to me!” You could write it off as just a gripe — letting the annoyance fester and sap the person’s motivation — or you could empower them to improve the situation.
How to do it:
1. In your next 1-on-1, try to hone in on the cause of the problem.
For example, why does something “take forever” or why is another team “always slow”? The root cause may be easy to unearth — like an old or inefficient process or poor communication — or it may take a few rounds of asking why to get there (try using the “5 Whys” technique).
2. With your direct report, explore actions they can take to improve the underlying issue.
To determine what’s feasible, you might ask questions like:
- “What could you do independently to address this issue?”
- “What would ‘better’ look like and what resources would you need to get there?”
- “What would need to shift in your workload in order for you to work on this?”
3. Determine what resources and support your direct report needs in order to take action.
Maybe they already have a plan in mind for improving a process or bridging a gap — or perhaps they’d like to talk through how to map the first steps. Ask what level of involvement they need from you and the team as well as what resources you might be able to provide (e.g., data, additional budget, or introductions to people in the organization who can help).
4. As your direct report works on the project, check on their progress and offer coaching as needed.
What obstacles are they facing that you could help them navigate? If they’ve implemented their plan, how is it working? And finally, if they think the problem is fixed, what else is bugging them that they might like to address?
