How to make people take you seriously

 

Years ago, I sat on a promotion panel where we passed over someone who was technically the strongest candidate in the room.

Nobody questioned his ability.

The issue was something vaguer:

"I'm not sure he'd hold his own with the client's CFO."

I remember thinking that sounded reasonable at the time, but now I think we were lazy.

Because he knew his stuff, but you had to dig for it.

He let stronger voices talk over him in meetings.

When he disagreed with something, he'd say nothing and raise it privately afterwards.

We read those signals as a lack of readiness, but looking back, I think he was ready.

He just hadn't learned how to show it.

This is the skill that almost nobody teaches: how to make people take you seriously.

And it matters most for the people you're responsible for developing.

The signals are surprisingly specific: credibility, clarity, consistency, and confidence.

When they're strong, people assume competence fast.

When they're weak, even brilliant people get talked over and overlooked.

The things that quietly undermine someone's authority are just as specific: over-apologising, hedging language, complaining without solutions, avoiding eye contact.

(None of which say anything about actual ability. They just signal uncertainty to the person on the other side of the table.)

If you manage people, this is worth paying attention to.

Not because your team needs to fake confidence they don't feel, but because small changes in how they communicate can close the gap between what they know and how they're perceived.

Four things that move the needle quickly: speaking directly, calm body language, listening properly, and dressing with intention.

We spend years teaching people the technical work.

We spend almost no time teaching them this.

But it's something we can easily fix.

https://tinyurl.com/3efn83ad